Creating an awareness that we are on the pattern of destroying ourselves is not an easy task. Many times we are blind despite having the same chaotic result over and over again. We keep asking ourselves why oh why we are in the same nuts again and again. Until we become so sick and tired of being sick and tired that we finally seek resolve on how to break the pattern that enslave us to our grave.


It will be difficult to break the cycles without looking at the roots of why those chaos producing patterns are happening in the first place. I guess it all begins during the time that we are making observations and conclusion of who we are and how most of our basic needs are being provided, when we were very young.


Based on those conclusion and observation we define ourselves. We keep telling and repeating to ourselves and to the world who we are rightly or wrongly. We live by that definition regardless of the cost. As adult we validate those beliefs about ourselves by what we do and by the choices we made. If we believe we are unworthy and do not deserve anything, chances are we will be doing things and making choices that will validate our unworthiness. It’s as simple as that.


Our loving and well-meaning parents provided us the best of the basic forgetting that we are more than our physical beings. We are emotional and spiritual being as well.  The need to be love, to be appreciated, to belong, to count and to find our purpose and meaning  can easily be overlook  which is as equally  important as providing for our basic need of shelter, foods and clothes.


In trying to meet those emotional needs we create psychological strategies within our internal framework. This is where most of the irrational thoughts and patterns originate along with the conclusions and observations we formulate. Those irrational thinking somehow provided us some sort of security. We keep repeating them because it runs on auto pilot, we know what to expect.


When we learn to really shut down, keep quiet and observe the thoughts we have  that creates the chaotic result, we are on our way to making new patterns that is life fulfilling.  It is by bringing the distortions into the light, becoming vulnerable to another human being by  admitting that there are some distortions along the way, by being honest and accepting of both our weakness and strength that we will eventually break the cycle of self-destruction.


The last but not the least and that which required so much force is to activate the energy required to break the chaotic pattern.  Breaking the cycles require actions one step at a time, it will not going to happen inside our head. It will be uncomfortable initially but it is worth the try.