When I lost my son three years ago, the excruciating agony shooting through my body was the worst I’ve ever known. It was hurting like hell. No amount of human power could ease the unbearable pain I had gone through. I almost lost all the capability to feel and to think. The writing was the only task I can manage that does not require anything I can’t. I’ve known it since young. Writing when life was difficult had been my way of life and an automatic thing for me.
I write to him every day on my journal telling him everything I would like to as if he was talking to me as well. It made me feel connected to him again. It doesn’t matter if it is an illusion I created for myself because it provided me the deepest desire of my heart to have him around alive.
I was able to find a way out through writing when I was losing myself in sorrow. I cried with my pen on my journal. Those tears seem washing every bit of the grief I had, letting me see things impossible to see when clouded with emotions. Writing made me aware of what’s going on. It also helps me break free from the endless mental torture I was going through. It organizes my thoughts and lets me find meaning out of the experience.
It gives me hope and courage to move on no matter how lumpy I was then. The writing helps me gain strength on my feelings of powerlessness over my terrifying situations. It gives me a safe place that allows me to wrestle and have my power back.
Over the time I realized how it made me bear the pain with grace. People may repress and pushed painful experiences from consciousness into the unconscious which can be the trap in a toxic pattern. In writing we find better ways of coping which can also lead us to our own healing process.
I often hear people saying they do not know what to write. Here is a big shout to “Start with where it hurts,” it may lead you to something you never knew like the way it did to me.
You might want to check where writing where it hurts leads me:
https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/62062173-the-booze-stole-my-son-dont-let-it-steal-yours
Reblogged this on Live…Love…Share!!! and commented:
Heart felt #memoir…. I think most families have and are touched by some kind of #addiction. I do believe that whatever pain you are experiencing #writing is the best prescription.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your writing, because it speaks about real life struggles and I am glad that you use your writing to express yourself. thank you so much for this, i am very sorry about your son.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about writing from the heart. It’s healing and raw and often just what we need. Warmest wishes to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kindly check you email I send it there. Have a great time reading!
LikeLike
I’ve never lost a child but my parents have lost 2 and my brother has lost 2. Last year my son accidentally killed one of his friends and fellow officers. I am living with an unbearable guilt that I can’t shake. I thought of writing a letter to his mother but don’t feel like I should cause her any more pain just to lessen mine. I’m trying to help my son through the pain and depression he is fighting but I feel guilty about that too. I hate seeing him so lost but at least I’m seeing him, can talk to him and hold him when he cries; she will never have that again. I love my son and he has a good heart but he made a terrible choice while drinking. With everything I’ve lived through in my life this is by far the worst so I can’t even place myself in her grief. I don’t know how any of us will ever recover from this loss.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart goes with you. Last week my daughter show me this article http://www.rd.com/true-stories/inspiring/how-i-forgave-my-husbands-killer/ where a drunk driver killed her husband. It is a very inspiring story and I hope you will find something from that. I believe your son is inherently good and everyone of us including you.I know everything that happens whether good or bad can be used in God’s great design for your life and that of your son.I also hope both of you may be able to see the role of alcohol in his life. My son is a good son but under the influence of alcohol he can make things miserable,like drunk driving that took his life away from us. I wish to share you a copy of my book just let me know your email and I will sen you a free copy hoping it may enlightened you on the disease of alcoholism. Take courage, God will hold you and your son in the palms of His hand and stay around 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Means a lot that you are willing to share with me your experience and pain. I would love to read your book. You can send to tschnie31@gmail.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
ok 🙂
LikeLike
That’s beautiful, writing from where it hurts. Last night I watched the Billboard Music Awards. Celine Dion sang The Show Must Go On http://de.musicplayon.com/play-touch?v=517134 It’s just so touching. I think some people sing instead of reading. 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yah. I guess all forms of arts including writing is an expression of the artist 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. For me it’s drawing and writing.
Thank yo for a great and helpful post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry to hear abt ur loss
Lo0sing someone
Who is close is worst
And loosing some one
Who is ur family
Is even worse.
But life goes on…
And time heal many things
But not everything!
Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I am reading your poems and you had a way doing it. Poems are a great way to express ourselves and not everyone is gifted to do so. Keep it up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much dear one
: ))
Have a nice day
–Jyotee
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My pleasure!
LikeLike