I am not particular with the Parable of The Rich Fool until last night when our family dialogue has to start with a reflection of the gospel we had last Sunday. This is not something we used to do and I am surprised how it provided me a rich insight not only for myself but for our kids as well. My husband read the verse from Luke 12:13-21 and ask everyone to choose a word or group of words that struck us. Each gave their piece from my eldest daughter to my husband and mine was “Watch out and guard yourselves against every kind of greed.” I can’t figure out right away why that sentence struck me.
We were given a few moment of silence to reflect and share what we thought of in relation to the word we have chosen. In my quiet time, I asked myself when did I become greedy? Am I? Suddenly I realized that every time I only have myself, my needs, my family’s concern in consideration never minding those of others, I am greedy. And it was difficult to accept, but it happens many times.
Digging further, I see how the fear of not having enough drives me to have my needs met first before anybody else. The narcissistic two-year-old inside of me grow up in an environment of mental lack, therefore, my needs always prove more pressing.
According to Erik Erikson, the first developmental task that we have to achieve is the development of trust. Trust that our primary caregivers are dependable and reliable. When it is not met naturally mistrust develops. I realized that my insecurities over not having enough can only be handled by trusting my primary caregiver, my source.
My internal system is so familiar with the sensation of fear that it becomes almost impossible to live without it. The reflection further leads me to deal and desensitized myself from these feelings of apprehension that I am so used to. I decided to make the promises that all of my needs will be provided according to His riches in heaven be incorporated into my morning rituals. Letting go of fear is not an easy task but it can be done.
There might be some other source of greed and some other kind, I’m sure. The Rich Fool was never afraid. In fact, he was so confident that he had more than everything he needs. His problem lies in where he put up his riches. That made a fool of him. The dialogue we had last night inspire me to get out of myself once in a while, to trust more and to be conscious of where I put my treasure.