It had been 9 years since I lost her. Once in a while, thinking about her and what she might be saying if she still around puts a smile on my heart.
1. In the early years of marriage be wary of going to your mom when you are having trouble with your hubby, especially if she is in doubt whether you made the right choices. Lol!
This was her response one time when I told her I was having a hard time with Boy:
“I told you, go to the US where your classmates are, use your profession and leave the kids to me.”
(” Sinabi ko na sa yu, pumunta ka na sa Amerika dun sa mga kaeskwela mo. Gamitin mo yung propesyon mo at iwan mo sa akin ang mga bata”)
I was left confused and therefore I never obey her. hahaha!
I was wondering what about Boy.
Many years later I understand that in all her desire to make life better for me she had the tendency to be shortsighted. Because of the courage she had within, she knew that I can make it alone because she did it so well. She was a widow at 28 with four kids around.And so far we’re fine.
What she never realized then was that it will be too painful for her once the consequences of working abroad arrived. It is my dream of having a happy family and I’m not sure if I can make it away from my kids and my husband. If becoming a nurse abroad didn’t work for me there is nothing more devastating than seeing your loved ones hurting. I am confident she is proud today of the choices I made.
2. The best teaching strategy is learning by doing.
When she was teaching me to do the laundry she was there, scrubbing tiny pieces f clothes with me. When she was telling me to take charge of her small store, she was giving me hands-on training on marketing and dealing with people. What marketing school is more effective than teaching a preschooler to sell it her way?
3. She was the first to teach me the power of writing.
I cannot remember her teaching me to write nor to read, it was my father. But when I was in high school one of my aunties (her sister) told her that she was so upset with her husband’s gambling. So my mother asked me to do a warning letter address to the leaders of my auntie’s village. My mother never finishes elementary and she had a hard time writing even as simple as signing her name. She just instructed me to threatened those involved in gambling to stop their activities or else the insurgents will be forced to do something.
Well, I do not know about insurgents then, except that we call them the NPA or people with no permanent address. That’s everything I knew. And lo and behold immediately after the people in the village received the letter I compose, the gambling stops!
4. Her life taught me that those who never learned from experiences will keep repeating the same mistakes.
Many of what she did, I repeat. Some of the good things and the bad, the happy and the sad. When I saw myself repeating her mistakes, her life was telling me to turn around. Her pains and difficulties taught me what will make sense. Her joys and triumphs are a source of inspiration I live with my kids today.
5. She taught me to give no matter what.
I cannot understand why she keeps giving to everyone; people coming by, whether she just meets them, to her siblings and practically to anyone she likes. Up until I lost her I really don’t know why she loves giving even if she doesn’t have much.
When I look at her life and how she was loved and taken care of, I understand why. How can you not give back to someone who did nothing but give? I am sure the four of us are happy because we knew in ourselves we did all the best we could for her. She is not a perfect mother and we are not the perfect kids, but in our hearts, we give back our love to her no matter how. That is why she gives, she loves.
6. Take care of my body and my emotions.
Understand hormonal imbalances and enjoy life. Let go of negative emotions. Eat well. Those were the things she thought me when she was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease, a complication of her diabetes where dialysis was needed. I’m sure she is happy with my new found malunggay remedy today. She hates medicine as much as I do!