1. Allow yourself to cry as much as you can, as often as you want and every time you feel like doing so.
Don’t hold back. Tears connect our shattered soul to the source of strength we never knew we have. The emotional task is overwhelming and crying can be a great tool in going through the ordeal. Scream if you want, punch bag, throw pillows, cry aloud, and know that it is ok.
2. Find ways to express your emotions.
Talk about your feelings and thoughts. Write about it. I’ve seen mothers receiving a tremendous amount of peace after connecting with the child they lose by writing to them. They were able to adjust to their new norms with grace and compassion in a relatively short period. Do something physical that will help your emotions out because they are what burdens us the most.
3. Continue what you are doing before you lose your child.
If it is impossible then find new things to engage with no matter how difficult. You will stumble and fall but keep trying. There are times you wouldn’t want to get out of bed and wish everything is over only to face the fact that it is not. It’s alright. Deal with it moment by moment, one step at a time. Doing something shifts the focus out of the devastation you are going through. Many times by trying to get out and do something for others you will find a new sense of mission and a new way of living.
4. Connect with people who are going through the same.
Read and listen to their stories. I think this had been my greatest tool right after losing JC. I find strength and inspiration from them because I think I got the feeling that these people knew exactly what I am going through and it was a relief. Also, they had become some source of light when then going gets so tough that it feels like I cannot survive the day.
5. Know that it was just their body we lose
Nothing really dies. When we leave this earth, our body goes back to the element where it came from transforming into a new form of being. The hurt and the pain we cause with each other eventually stop because those feelings were only possible on the earthly existence. Love is the only thing that will remain because only love is eternal. Gradually you will realize that you did not lose your child after all.
6. Accept that we do not own them, someone else did
The fact is that JC was just lend to me. I do not own him and his real owner loves him more than I do. I can only be grateful I was given the privilege and time to be able to have him. That’s all I’ve got and the love that remains. This realization made me change the way I deal with his siblings after he left that had become a lot better than it used to be.
Ohhhh your love is a resemblance of all mothers love,
Your love can be felt
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🙂
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Thank you so much, I just read all your message now from all of my posts.
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Just in time when others are losing their loved ones. This article will definitely help them a lot.
Be healed.
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Thanks po. T2 I made some suggestions regarding sa social media widget nag email po ako.
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Very sore subject to many parents but very true words I’ve just set up my first blog explaining the pain and hurt of losing a child to let others know that your not alone we are all going through our own emotional journey xx
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Knowing that we are not alone lessen the pains and helps us go through. Thanks for dropping by 🙂
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Good post.👏👏👏Believe in resurrection will also be helpful.
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Thank you. You might want to read more from my book here :https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/62062173-the-booze-stole-my-son-don%27t-let-it-steal-yours
Thanks again and have a great day:)
Aui
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today I read your About page
I think this article is good for you
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/watchtower-no3-2016-may/when-a-loved-one-dies/
just ignore if you are not interested
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Thank you. I’ll check on it.
Aui
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And I’m sorry for your loss.
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Thank you 🙂
Aui
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Thank you for following my “blog”; however, that is a “ghost blog.” Please try grandmastreasures(dot)wordpress(dot) com or writingbooksforchildren(dot)wordpress(dot)com
Thank you for your interest, and for your excellent post here.
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Oh I see. Ok I’ll check it.
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So sorry Aui! You are incredibly strong.
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Thank you 🙂
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There are no words that can serve as consolation. You have my deepest condolences on your loss.
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Thank you Anna.Life has to move on. Thanks for dropping by 🙂
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This helped a little. Thanks
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🙂
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You are great. I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mom some years ago and it was very hard for me, as I was a teenager. And the things you’ve written are for all that struggle with a loss, any kind of loss. I’m also writing because I want to say what I feel. During these years I struggled a lot of pain because of my loss. But I still can’t find the perfect words to decribe it, maybe because I’m still not ok with it. Maybe someday I will also write a book about it as you did it. God help me, you and everyone!
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Just keep writing. I am sorry also for your loss. After what happen to my son, I realized everything is happening for all our good. Sometimes it is difficult to understand but in Gods time we will see it.
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You are right. I also realized that what had happened, I changed a lot and not in a bad way! Good luck!
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Ya that’s true. Same wishes for you 🙂
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Thank you.
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🙂
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I wish you all the best to find the calm in you heart
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is it this amazing advertising platform site ?
http://falke.adpackpro-international.com
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what for site you like to log in to ?
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beautiful flower around us make the moment of stress more healthy
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That’s so true 🙂
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I have difficulties viewing your site. I don’t know why. Every time I am trying to go on your site I was always asked to log in but still can’t visit your site. You have any idea?
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https://wordpress.com/wp-login.php?login=scubadiveworld
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I wish all of you are wonderful day
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Thank you. I wish the same for you 🙂
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I like you blogging and thanks to follow my blogging too
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog.
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I am sorry for your loss, my mom died when I was five, she was 33. She was an alcoholic and I am not. Praise GOD.
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Thank you.It is a real blessing that you are not affected by alcoholism. It is a tyrant disease. I am happy to meet you in this blogging community:)
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Lots of hugs!!!
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Thank you. Hugs back to you 🙂
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Reblogged this on Love Life of an Optimistic Single Mum and commented:
This is a topic one is not allowed to talk about – and it is all the more important that we write about it, as it is so very omnipresent in its many forms and so many people are affected.
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Such an important experience to write about, particularly as it is such a tabou in western society. Thank you. I would like to add two points which to me were very important.
1. Find out about grief. I felt I was I was loosing it – everybody was telling me to look forward and I simply could not, and felt I was failing. Reading that being in a mist unable to connect with anything is normal helped me accept my grieving process.
2. Find a simple activity. For me this was knitting and one simple piece on the piano. Having my attention occupied by something which did not take any energy gave me breathing space and a rest from the constant questions and unrest in my head.
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Thank you! I wii be happy to hear your story 🙂
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I will be happy I mean.
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I’m sure I will spill it soon 🙂
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Aui, thank you for posting this. This is a difficult topic for people to read, so I imagine that it must have been even that much more difficult to write, let alone experience. Best wishes to you, and I hope your writing changes many lives.
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Thank you 🙂
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