It was unimaginable how losing a son could bring you happiness more than you ever thought despite the pain more than you could ever feel. Eleven days after we laid him to rest I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know how to deal with the agonizing moments when all I could wish for is the hope that it’s over. Every moment missing him was unbearable. How could I ever go through it?
There was a great need within to get in touch with him again and there’s no other way except to write hoping he will hear what I am trying to say and it did. I told him how difficult it was absorbing the thoughts that he would never be here anymore, this is crazy and I do not know what to do. I just want him around. I never know that those daily conversations with him in my pen will lead me into a deeper understanding of life, love, parenting and of one of the most devastating disease that had been around since the beginning of time, alcoholism.
The writing brings me to a place I would always want to go ever since I was young. A place where I can be so true to myself without fear and where I found comfort and hope enough to carry on and pick up the pieces again.
Many times, God’s gift is wrapped in difficulties and pain. I’ve seen it once more with what happen to my son and what it made me become. I was able to see how God protects him from all hidden dangers, how this life meant not a thing compared to what he prepared for us, why it was necessary to focus on the things that really matter and why love needs to be expressed at all circumstances of our life.
This is where I found myself writing. ❤ ❤ ❤
I cannot start to imagine how incredibly brave you are. You’re positive and it’s infectious. More love and power to you
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Thank you:)
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Besides blogging, I journal on a daily basis. It is my belief that sometimes when I’m writing it is actually G-d speaking to me. I’m glad that you have found writing to be a source of comfort and strength. You are a power of example
Moshe
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Thank you. I keep my journal ever since I was young and it continue to save my life until now. I got also a lot of wisdom from the program of AA being married to a recovering one. Thanks for dropping by 🙂
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By the way you might want to read a copy of my book. After losing my son, I write to him everyday that eventually lead me to this book. You can read it here for free https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/62062173-the-booze-stole-my-son-dont-let-it-steal-yours
Have a great day 🙂
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Thank you. I will certainly have a look
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🙂
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I like every time you blogging and I understand you pain of lost you son , sorry ! but you son is every time with you then in you heart and around you
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Thank you 🙂
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I found my way here through the mention on Jacob’s site. My heart weeps when I think about the agony you must go through. But it’s amazing that you’ve pulled up your socks and not let life bog you down! Writing is such a relief…it eases you into your everyday life, strangely!
Looking forward to reading your posts…Have a wonderful day!
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Thank you 🙂
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Thank you! I hold on so much on God’s promises and the hope I got gives me joy. It’s almost three years now and somehow I see so much of God’s purpose not only for me but for my son as well with what happen. I’m happy to meet you here!
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The pain of the womb is unbearable, we all pray that you will surely see him one day in heaven, may your grief turn in prayers, do all you can so his soul becomes heavenly, you will find peace, adopt a less privileged that will give you immense joy , try it a long shot
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You have come through the worst nightmare I can imagine…If I even allow myself to. You are a beacon of hope for the rest of us, knowing that at any time we could be…you.
Blessings.
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thank you….
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My heart goes out to you as you survive every parents worst nightmare – I can only begin to image the pain you have and are still suffering. You are strong and so brave and I am so glad that you have found a way to connect with your son through writing, I can only hope that the healing process continues for you. I am not sure when your son died but I guess you have already survived those awful first hurdles. Keep strong, you are an inspiration to others.
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Thank you. I lost him 3 years ago, he was 21 then.Writing help me survive those awful first hurdles. Thank you, I realized in the writing world we keep inspiring people we got in touch with.I’ll keep in touch.
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