“Hello Jesus, are you sure this is it?”

“This is isn’t what I’m asking for!”

“You might be making a mistake!”

“I remember telling you to have my son serve you just like Shock did”

This was the conversation running on my head on the first night of my son’s wake.

I’ve heard Shock’s story during one of our gatherings and while listening to Him witnessing God’s work in his life, I cannot help but plead God to just do the same with my son, JC. I want him to be just like Shock one day. Shock’s teenage life revolves around alcohol and bad companies until he was introduced to the Youth for Christ. a family ministry of Couples for Christ, the community where our family belongs.

And I knew I am remembering it right, that is what I am praying for. How come he took my son like that? It was hard to imagine that God was having my prayer answered at that  moment.  I think He cannot do anything more. I lost my son already and the probability of being like Shock is none. That’s what I thought.

But I was wrong. After I lost him, the disease of alcoholism was made clearer to me. JC had not seen a single event where there was an offering of alcohol at home. The pressure outside must have been strong on him where drinking alcohol even among teenager is a norm. Since he came from both an alcoholic gene the likelihood of being a victim of this disease long known to mankind is higher. And the worst nightmares of driving while drunk happened.

So what else is there to do but to use our story to spread the message across and find healing somehow. JC was a typical teenage son, loving and funny yet stubborn at times. He was very active in school, extracurricular activities and the community. He loves and laugh and drinks a lot too, without us knowing.

In sharing our story I came to understand that God was powerfully using my son. If not for other people but at least for our family. Losing JC made all of us understand why we’re here and bring us to a greater sense of purpose and happiness far beyond my imagination

That’s when I realized God in His divine wisdom did answer my prayers, the essence of which is to let JC serve Him. Because I know that there is no other source of living a life of happiness and peace other than serving God. He did not only answer my prayer for JC but He also answers what I was always praying for a long time ago.

Since my early 20’s, I have been longing of writing a book. My love of reading ignites a deep desire to write something. I keep dreaming about it and share it with people I love. In fact, my sister gifts me a very expensive pen many years back for she understands how I really want to write a book.

Once in a while, I will create the title of my book, start writing about it and keep it in Pandora’s Box for the longest time until I forget it. Then when the desire to write a book comes again, I will write a new title which was usually inspired by the moment  and keep it like what I used to do.  I have dozens of title with no more than five pages content until I lost my son.

“What a way to answer prayer!” my teasing response to God when I published my first book The Booze Stole My Son…..

But of course, it is not always like that. Sometimes God’s  answer is “Sure why not.” Sometimes it takes too long. Sometimes it’s “No” but I notice that most of the time it’s “Wait.”

One thing is sure, He always does.